A Merry Heart Doeth Good As a Medicine

Dustin getting ready for dinner. Age 22 and holding

The Power of Laughter

I heard a minister on television the other day talking about the results of a Chinese Oncologist’s research on the immune system and your health. The Doctor found that a single bout of anger will negatively affect your immune system for 6 hours, while good deep laughter will positively affect your immune system for 24 hours, by releasing health enhancing endorphins.
I was happy to hear this for I dearly love to laugh.

We have a good collection of DVD’s. We enjoy watching them and are always on the look out for more. Some of the movies are really stupid but they serve a great purpose…. to bring up the big belly laughs. I can’t tell you how many times I would be driving along in my car and I would just think of something that I had seen in a movie or a sitcom and start laughing. There are some people who have an incredible ability to be able to make others laugh. I find it interesting that in I Corinthians 12, where there are the diversities of gifts that “the gift of laughter” isn’t one of them, because it truly is a healing blessing for us all. I have some nieces and nephews who God has certainly bestowed this blessing upon.
Danika and Kevin are also quite the comedians, although they both act so silly and goofy sometimes that I know people often think they are coo-coo. As a parent I have certainly been approached more than once about my children’s “behavior misfits”. While I never condone disrespecting behavior, I do know that at times everybody needs a little comedic relief, so do forgive me if I respond by telling you to “lighten up”.
Most usually we can control the time and place to laugh, and should be respective of when and where those times are. However……….
I remember one time when I was a little girl, we (the last 4 kids at home) and Momma and Daddy were out driving in the old station wagon. I do not remember all of the particulars of why, but the car broke down and we were stuck at a gas station. Daddy became angry after repeated attempts to start the car. I can remember watching him as he was cranking down on the key, his coal black hair flying across his face with every forceful pump on the gas peddle. It was scary. We kids well aware of Dads anger made a point to be very still, and quiet. Nobody ever liked seeing Daddy angry. It was a most intense moment. Then all of a sudden, Momma starts laughing!!!!! We are not talking about just a little chuckle here folks, she started in and before long she was deep in a (turning blue) laugh. Daddy went nuts! The harder she laughed the harder he cranked the key, and stomped the gas peddle. Now Momma’s was not one of disrespectful nature in any way, and as we all well knew Daddy was not a man to trifle with. Watching this was mortifying, we quietly began begging Momma to please stop, but to no avail. The bluer Momma turned from laughing the redder daddy turned from anger. This was not the time or place to be laughing. It was like watching a pressure cooker sitting on a stove and Momma was messing around with the seal which will make it explode. Finally Daddy gets out of the car and slams the door so hard that the window shattered into a million pieces. We kids burst into tears from the sheer terror of the whole ordeal. We did not understand what on Gods green earth would cause Momma to laugh so hard and be so happy at such a terrifying moment. It wasn’t until years later that I understood what really came over her that day.
The night that Dustin had went down, Clayton, the kids and I, as well as some family and friends were all at the hospital near the emergency room waiting to see Dustin. They would not let us travel with him in the ambulance. I hated being separated from him. Clayton and I were put through the usual hospital barrage of questions by the secretary for insurance information. Afterwards we set down and joined the others who were waiting. The tension was so thick and depressing. It was near 1 or 2 AM. Nobody was really talking as there wasn’t much that could be said. We had been warned that since Dustin had been dead for over 5 minutes before he was resuscitated it would be very likely that he would have serious brain damage. I felt sick from my body's constant trembling, so in effort to try and relax I got up and started pacing the floor. When surprisingly from out of the secretary’s box office we all heard this loud obnoxious snoring…. I quietly walked over to the office to the find the secretary with her head down on her desk, just a-snorin’ away; I turned around with my arms outstretched in disbelief and a bit disgruntled said “you have got to be kidding me the hospital secretary is sleeping on the job”!! then it happened…..suddenly I started laughing so hard,
It was really bizarre, just moments before I had been handed some awful news, this most certainly was not the right time or place to be laughing, yet I could not get a hold of myself to stop. I don’t know what came over me but it became infectious and everyone caught it, before long we became louder than Miss. Sleeping Beauty’s snoring. As I laughed, I cried, and with every tear I felt waves of peace came over me and a knowing that everything was going to be alright. When the nurse came in to tell us we could now see Dustin I am sure she thought we were morbid for carrying on like we were at such a time. Upon seeing Dustin he looked up at me and asked (as best as he could with tubes in his mouth) “Where is Kevin”? I knew then his mind was ok and that he did not suffer any brain damage.
Looking back, I now know that what came over Momma and I was the pure joy of the Lord. As in His word he promised, “The Joy of the Lord is our Strength”. Each of us was going through extreme measures of difficulties at that time and the only way to get the strength to go through it was by having Joy and laughter, no matter however misinterpreted..... it may be.

Turning Point

These past five years here in Tennessee have gone by very quickly. I can hardly believe we have lived here that long. But with some major turning points happening in our lives, it is easy to understand how time just slips away.

What is a Turning Point?

It is an unexpected event that happens to you whether good or bad that causes you to change your perspective on life.

When your perspective on life changes, then the way you live your life usually also changes; hopefully for the better, but sadly sometimes it is for the worse. I have seen this many times among my friends and family that after a bad event they have allowed bitterness to take root in their heart and it has changed them into hard, uncompassionate souls. It is easy to be angry right? After all we’re hurt in the process! and God the Almighty Loving God could have kept it from happening but…. He didn't. Why? you ponder, why would God allow this to happen to me? Is He displeased with me? Does He love me less than that certain Holier than thou person? Am I paying for my past sins…… stilllllllllllllllllllllllll??????, or is this just the way God is......, leaving you never knowing what He is going to do?
Knowing how this wicked emotion can slither into ones heart and play horrible havoc with your mind, your health, and especially your relationship with the Lord, I have always been on guard to protect my heart from anger and bitterness. But here lately being worn down and very tired it has been challenging to keep from feeling angry at the Lord.
Our life has always been somewhat difficult since Dustin was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy at the age of seven; he was showing signs of this cruel illness when he was two years old with his wobbly little walk and his inability to climb stairs. We of course were clueless to knowing that anything was wrong with him. Once he went into the wheelchair by his tenth birthday, we had to watch his little body become more and more contorted and twisted and deformed. In spite of everything we stayed encouraged knowing that our Lord Jesus Christ is a healing God, and that our Dustin would be made whole. I can’t begin to tell you how many times we were rebuked for holding on to that hope not only by Doctors, and friends but even our family. We were often looked upon as delusional and irresponsible parents who were living in denial; but as hard as all those years were they were mild upsets compared to now.
When Dustin went down it was pretty hard, that long night set off a chain reaction of enormous pain tugging at our heart and hardship that is still rippling through the very core of our lives. Occasional we will get a call from family who ask,” How are things”? My answer is, and always will be "all is well". I don’t say this because I don’t want you to know about our life it’s just that by nature I am not a whiner, so I tend to refrain from going into much detail about things. But for the purpose of illustrating my turning point. I will share with you. There is no area of our life that has been untouched, there was no “going about Business as usual” our normal way of living became a thing of the past.
Dustin is on a ventilator 24 hours a day, to those who do not know what this is, it is a complex machine that breathes for you, and it works through a trache that has been placed in a hole in your throat. By having it attached this way leaves your mouth free to eat and talk (although you no longer have sound come through when you speak.) Dustin is not on a feeding tube, but he cannot move his arms so we feed him all his meals, he does not have a catheter so when he needs to go to the bathroom we also help him. While he cannot move anything on his body he can wiggle his toes, move his lips to talk, and moves his eyes as far as his head is turned. He is not paralyzed he feels everything.
Because he has no muscle mass he is extremely sensitive to touch and weight (some blankets puts too much weight on him), he cannot scratch an itch or slap a bug. We bath him, and brush his teeth for him. He is totally dependent upon us for his care. Since he is bed ridden his once beautiful teeth have all fell backwards spreading apart so much that it is difficult to chew most meat. What normally takes the average person 15 minutes to eat takes him 1 and ½ hours to eat. Because he has no voice he has to be watched so that he can tell you when he needs help. And only I can read lips. He cannot be left alone; a clog of mucus can choke him and cut off his air supply within seconds. We moved his bed into our bedroom so at night we can continue to care for him. Sometimes we don’t get much sleep, and I will tell you, sleep deprived people have altered personalities. His machine has alarms that will go off when the breathing pressure is not right. My hearing impairment keeps me from hearing these alarms so Clayton or one of the other kids always have to be there with me.
As for our finances we lived off our savings until they were depleted, then we sold a lot of things from our home, we still do. We have borrowed some money and been given some as a gift. We cannot hold a 9- 5 job because we have to be available at a moments notice. We don’t qualify for an in home nurse. We don’t get food stamps or welfare. We never have. Although we have been so broke that for the first time in my life I can honestly say we have had times when there was no food in our house, or gas in the car.

I could go on but I’ll stop here, les I trod down the path of despair.
Being in this situation has brought us to our knees many times crying out to God to please give us the wisdom as to what to do. Do we continue to believe for healing life or prepare for death? “I am willing and ready for either Lord “I cried. “Just give us something to hold on to. One day a family member out of love thought perhaps it would be best to talk to Dustin about death and to share with him how we simply go from one life to another and that it is not painful but the afterlife is beautiful and how maybe he was hanging on to life because he was afraid to die. Having never had this conversation with my son, you can only imagine how difficult it was to find the words to talk to him about it. I did though all without tears. Dustin was very still, he listened, never butting into the conversation. When I was finished he calmly and a bit sternly said”Momma I am not afraid to die, I am just not ready. It’s not my time to die.” Then I heard the Lord say to me “you wanted something to hold on to …there it is LIFE.
Dustin chooses life so you should do so as well.
Having a child who chooses to live when every earthly thing is against him is humbling.
If we are to hold on to life with him and be encouraged in the Lord for his healing then where is there room for anger and bitterness? Both can not dwell in the same place at the same time.

Philippians 4:6-8

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; If there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

I just love these verses, are they not beautiful. How comforting for me to know that, when I am weary, I cry out to the Lord, and he walks with me to show me those things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and are of a good report, and their virtue.
Oh how the Praises overcome me, and like a warm blanket the wisdom and peace of the Lord guards my heart for me.

Just For You

Ok Family and Friends, after many requests from all of you, I have now entered into the world of cyberspace. As I journeyed through all the social outlets that the internet has to offer I felt that having a blog was much more suiting to my personality. I guess I am more of a quite girl after all. I do hope that this decision is pleasing for all of you, but be patient with me as I am still warming up to the idea of having my thoughts available for the world to hear.